Creations Poetry XXV
Copyright Lyne's Creations February 2014, All Rights Reserved
You may NOT take copies of these poems for any reason.
Note: I often come back, re-read and even
edit my poems. They, like me,
are a work in progress. I may change a word here and there or I may add
a whole stanza! Some have art, and some will get illustrated later on.
A Mother's Dream
I woke from a dream of great longing last night,
Reaching for my baby boy, trying to make it right.
I realized then, with my dream memory's hindsight,
How events created our Mother and son's plight.
Needing to bond with you when "they" whisked you away,
While in my hospital bed they were forcing me to stay.
Lying in isolation, with complications from the spinal block,
While my baby had his own nightmare I was unable to stop.
All people and events at your birth conspired together,
To prevent a Mother and son from being with each other,
Now all these years later I am still tortured with regrets,
I have dreams of bonding with my boy that I didn't get.
I didn't know how to be a proper Mother by any degree,
No one demonstrated good parenting, so I could see.
I actually grew up shy with children, unable to foresee,
I wouldn't be able to be the loving mother I wished to be.
I've been withdrawn, keeping myself at a distance,
Yet I am working hard this late in my existence,
Just learning how to "Mother myself" in essence,
By applying therapy and personal persistence.
Nevertheless I love you and I finally understand,
I couldn't help you to be such an outstanding man,
That came from your Father, with no thanks to me,
But I am proud of the man that you turned out to be!
I may have ill health and be long in the tooth,
Yet I found my missing happiness of youth,
Because out of my dark heartbreaking time,
I have discovered my talent and it's all mine!
Not only am I an artist, but I can write great poetry,
I'm even certain there are children's books in me!
You see, I have written a children's fable in rhyme,
That I hope to illustrate and publish in a short time.
I feel like my life is starting fresh once more,
At long last with ME as my very own anchor!
I have goose bumps and happy tears on my face,
Since after such sadness, I've discovered my place!
The sun is so weak on a gray winter's day,
The sounds of birds chirping seem so far away,
While adding to the somehow sleepy feeling,
Is the call of a mourning dove in the evening.
I hear whispers of the world outside going by,
While I'm snug in my home making tofu flan pie.
A day with no obligations, when I can play!
Poems in the Night
Poems that I write in the dead of night,
Come right from my heart into plain sight.
Those express my emotions most sincere,
Those are the ones that I want you to hear.
"You who"?, you might be asking of me,
Friends, old lovers, some of my family,
Perhaps someone struggling similarly,
Who might be helped by the reading of my journey.
There were red flags that came up for me,
When we met for the first time in reality..
We were a perfect match in Second Life on line,
Then things started to show up in Real Life time.
He picked at my clothes, buttoning a button for me,
When I had fashionably left it unbuttoned purposefully,
He said "You love your cat much more than me"!
When I was just so overwhelmed by his personality,
He'd flashed with an uncharacteristic jealously,
When I sought comfort in my cat affectionately.
He showed small subtle signs of being a real bully,
Hidden in his acts of treating me compassionately.
He slowly sought to remake the way of my life,
Acting as though I was just a submissive wife,
And later on, friends of mine happened to mention,
He'd flash with aggressive demands for attention.
I believe I dodged a bullet in spite of my heartbreak,
Living with him would have been a terrible mistake!
What I mourn is being loved so unconditionally,
A trait shown in his act as loving counselor to me.
But the thing about him that had held me so totally captive,
Was his veneer; being superficial and deceptively attractive,
He does put on acts for people he meets to fulfill his ambition,
Without regard for how he leaves the target for his egoism!
He had me so fooled, this has been a long painful process,
But I'm well done with this man with his hidden boorishness,
Who after all was just a blip on the journey of my existence,
I will take what I learned, try to seek out my own happiness!
You're allowed to baby yourself, you're allowed to feel sad,
There are so many things in your life that are really bad,
It is difficult to be so completely alone,
Being forced to live in isolation at home,
Do the best you can and say no to your fears,
Even when you're feeling scared, close to tears,
You're allowed to have all the feelings you do,
I know it's tiring and frustrating too.
So many people have left you behind,
So many you have loved have been unkind,
It is legitimate when you're feeling blue,
So just relax, be gentle and take care of you!
Soon sunshine will break through the clouds again,
So take it easy, rest and relax until then.
Your Higher Self cares for you even when you feel alone,
Your Higher Self is in your heart, it's your center, your home.
I know my insecurities flare up when,
I begin to have fear filled dreams once again,
I dreamt my high mountain home started to fall,
I was scrambling to find any safe place at all,
Great granite boulders cracked, broke and plunged down,
Trees uprooted and fell far to the hard ground,
I kept climbing back up the face of the cliff,
Just trying to find a secure place to sit,
When I woke I asked my Higher Self for protection,
Strength and wisdom to return to the right direction,
I needed to get back to feeling more relaxed,
As I practice, practice and again practice.
It is really okay Lyne, your doing extremely well,
You've always been able to get up when you fell,
You're continuing to make amazing progress,
Your difficulties are becoming less and less,
Just take the courage you already use,
Then you, my young lady, will never loose!
You are accomplishing your greatest task,
Fulfilling your life's ambitions really fast!
Just keep saying a happy cheery hello,
To the strength within that you already know,
You're learning to live with a new frame of mind,
And to yourself, learning to be loving and kind.
Your doing an incredible job all on your own,
This'll turn out to be the best life you have ever known!
And look at this; you've written it all down in a poem!
When having a particularly difficult time,
I find that the phrase: "This too, shall pass" springs to my mind,
So while I have to continue through my daily grind,
There is some consolation in these thoughts that I find.
Dreaded situations cause me to feel cornered,
Yet I know that time persists in moving forward,
So if I focus on something for my reward,
Then it's a little easier to move onward!
I work to remember all fearful things WILL pass,
I will achieve success, maybe even surpass,
My inner goals, as I work on my soul's behalf,
I surpassed my expectations will be my epitaph!
All My Life...
I've called for help and no one heard,
None seemed to understand my words,
I've always tried to desperately connect,
My fears had a choke hold on my neck.
First, Dad who could not relate to children,
Mom abandoned when my brother came in,
Then a workaholic husband, forever gone,
Next a husband who disdained my opinion.
Once in a while, I would find a best friend,
Also isolated, on each other we'd depend.
Then finally I met the "man of my dreams",
Who left, couldn't hear my heart's screams.
So during the day, I fight with all my might,
But my heart's fears come out in the night.
I am doing the very best I can to cope,
I can sometimes be happy, full of hope.
But deep inside the damage was done,
Over and over by every single one,
Now I am older and it's just up to me,
To try and create a better life history.
This Gallery is Mine
This gallery is mine to express what I like,
I am standing my ground, I am ready to fight,
I will fight for MY freedoms with all of my might,
For this is my community and it's my right.
It is hard to deal with the deep feelings in me,
I'm always trying to figure out how to be,
Both how to feel safe, as well as how to let go,
Using creativity is the best way I know.
I need places where I feel safe to express,
Finding a way through this life can be a mess,
So I slog and blunder as I work my way through,
I've so few areas I'm able to go socially,
I will fiercely protect this, my chosen community,
Where, with the love of my friends all around and beside me,
I'm able to reside in this special 'home' peacefully!
(created for my Public Gallery, when it
was invaded by
the man from my past who has been lingering around the
edges of my only two social places I have available to me,
because of the limits of my health. I felt I had to assert my rights!)
Go to the Top of Poetry Page I for
an index of all the Poetry pages! OR!-Just change the
in the url address to the next higher one, and hit enter to go to that page faster!
I have so many pages, it's getting crazy for my dyslexic mind to keep adding
individual links to each page thereafter.