Creations Poetry VIII
Copyright Lyne's Creations September 2012, All Rights Reserved
You may NOT take copies of these poems for any reason.
Note: I often come back, re-read and even
edit my poems. They, like me,
are a work in progress. I may change a word here and there or I may add
a whole stanza! Some have art, and some will get illustrated later on.
I just can't stop...seems I am writing my life in my poetry these days..
It's funny how writing a poem actually
helps me get in touch with my feelings and PROCESS them...
so by the time I got to the end of this poem, I addressed my feelings and felt better!
(Getting a virus on top of FM is a bit much, as FM often feels like having the flu every day anyway!)
Little Girl with the Flu
(goes with Art here)
With all the precautions that I go through,
You wouldn't think I'd come down with the flu.
Being ill on top of FM is so hard to bare,
I feel MORE alone, when no one is there.
It is not that I can't take care of it all,
It just brings up the desire to recall,
His warm, loving voice on the phone,
that made me feel a little less alone.
Thus there is a small trick that I employ,
I go back to my memories of that boy,
Giving encouragement and sympathy,
As I pretend he's still in my life with me.
I'm not sure doing this is good or bad,
But memories help, even if a bit sad.
And yes I do have a nice bit of reality,
My cat curled up right here beside me.
So I try to be patient, as I wait it out,
Waiting to return to a bit better health,
But after being healthy for 2-3 years,
This does to tend to bring out my fears.
I know those fears are my inner child's,
And I need to remind her she's allowed,
To clearly express our emotions for us,
While I assure there's no reason to fuss.
I have plenty of ways to battle this thing,
Even our very own breathing machine!
I need to reassure her, as well as myself,
It's barely a week, this attack on our health!
So it's back to being a good little patient,
Drink lots of water, having more patience.
Still it's okay to be riled and fuss a little bit,
Because it's very inconvenient to be sick!
I realize now why I am having such trouble,
The reason is because I've been hit double,
Not only does my FM produce depression
It is also the special kind of love I was in.
First Love is always so shiny and new,
With dreams and fantasies, quite a few.
Do you remember all the child-like ways
We all gave our hearts in those first days?
But in spite of all those innocent dreams,
love, it turned out, was not as it seemed.
After our first broken heart, it's never the same,
That's when we learned to play guarded games.
This was my first love, I gave my innocent heart,
Regardless of my advanced age, I was not smart,
Now with the depression my FM normally includes,
Loosing my first love left me down and confused.
I am working genuinely hard figuring all of it out,
Gaining new understanding of what my life is about.
I have many choices, but the most important one,
is to acknowledge all of the new things I have done.
Yes my life is hard and love will never be the same,
But I'm trying to make the best of my days that remain.
The Riddles of Life
I have a mere thread of old memory,
Of who I was before the age of three.
Deep down inside I was trusting, not shy,
Being curious, bright, always asking why.
While I started out idealistic, openly caring,
always seeing the good, and willingly sharing,
I retained hope that my world would be a better place,
When the cruelty of reality hit me smack in the face.
A whole series of events caused me to withdraw,
I became frightened of everything I heard and saw.
I had no one to turn to for the protection I required,
When terrible things happened, and I nearly expired.
Through grammar school I was teased and shunned,
Though I never understood why or what I had done.
Perhaps I was awkward because of my fears,
Why are children so heartless to their peers?
Hurting, I crawled inside myself, hiding my light,
I was lost, no one seemed to know of my plight.
Through years, I persistently pulled myself along,
All the while wondering where the love had gone.
I really did look for love in all the wrong places,
Unable to find a single trace in all those faces.
I had no insight, no knowledge of how to find,
The ultimate love from within my own mind.
More years went by and I slowly advanced,
All by myself, to see a glimmer, a chance,
Of finding answers to the riddles of life's dance.
I read a book here, I talked to someone there,
I would often look out the window, and just stare,
working it all out one tiny smidgen at a time,
Discovering secrets within my soul, my mind.
Eventually I came to know with growing certainty,
That everyone's life is their own individual journey.
Each and everyone of us is solely responsible,
For that which we bring to our personal table.
The real reason then, that life becomes unstable,
Is that there are others sitting at the same table!!
I'm just sayin!
With the attitudes we gain and the perspectives we hold,
We can at times bring like-minded beings into our fold.
but I find that this is the universe's very rare offering,
Here for an elusive moment and gone in the morning.
This is always a very lonely job; this growing up thing,
While hoping along the way a bit of joy it might bring.
I'm finding it very frustrating, trying to convert,
my own extrovert personality into an introvert!
You see, my health requires my living alone,
So the Internet is the only world I can roam.
Still I'm not giving up, I am not quite that tragic,
However when I lost love, I misplaced my magic,
Thus the one riddle of life I'm finding so hard to bare,
Is human beings were created for love and to share.
Listening to George Michael singing
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face....
Was it Love?
When I let music expand my mind beyond the pain,
Love is still there reminding me of what we attained.
When I close my eyes and hear his sweet voice,
When I let go of my hurt, anger, make the choice,
I go back to the memory of those sweet feelings,
I realize he brought me all of love's true meanings.
This breathtaking love will be with me until the end of time,
Just there, in my heart....whenever I allow my mind,
to go there...it is mine...the amazing capacity of my heart,
My Darling, I loved you so exquisitely with every part,
of my being, my body, and my soul, I gave you myself.
There is no hole in my heart, for my heart still has the love,
Music pulling me to the memories sweet and pure as doves,
Wrongly or rightly there is nothing I can do with this reality,
Apparently our love will always be a part of my spirituality.
I suppose every love song I hear will take me there,
To the love that holds a place in my heart, still.
........................ and perhaps always will.
Yes it was and still is; love.
I can actually FEEL this love, it is a physical PART of me... utterly real.
I had no idea this was possible, I did not look for it... it just came clear to me.
A Goodbye Letter
I gave you my heart, you had a home in my soul,
But now I so clearly see why you had to go.
You have so much life, so much living to do,
To be limited by me was impossible for you.
My only wish for you now is somehow you decide,
from your own inner feelings you will no longer hide.
As I took this journey that I wish for you, I began to see,
I am even more amazing than I ever thought I would be!
So don't be afraid to take that trip to find out all your "whys",
Bon Voyage, I wish you love as I send my Good byes.
Go to the Top of Poetry Page I for an index of all the Poetry pages! OR!-Just change the number
in the url address to the next higher one, and hit enter to go to that page faster!
I have so many pages, it's getting crazy for my dyslexic mind to keep adding
individual links to each page thereafter. I am up to 13 pages as of this update with more always on the way!