pagepalletmouse3.jpg (3000 bytes)~Lyne's Creations Poetry 30
Copyright Lyne's Creations July 2014,  All Rights Reserved
You may NOT take copies of these poems for any reason.

Note: I often come back, re-read and even edit my poems. They, like me,
are a work in progress. I may change a word here and there or I may add
a whole stanza!  Some have art, and some will get illustrated later on.


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I really do write  poems about every single aspect of my life!

The Autumn of Life

Now as I read through all that I have written,  
I wonder if anyone ever listened,                       
It seems like there is just nothing left to say,        
After waking up to yet another day,                     

When once again coming out of a dream,          
Where "He" had to depart and my heart screamed,         
No, no, How can I be left, just be dropped?             
But he still insisted and time just stopped.            

All illusions of love have fallen away,                 
Fading like dreams in the harsh light of day.           
The love that gave me such a joy in life is gone,       
So as a dry leaf on a stream, I just drift along.               
~Lyne's Creations                                    


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A Heart's Scars

You gave so much but you took even more,
When you turned from my heart and walked out that door,
Can't we even just be friends you pleaded with me,
That's when I knew you could not possibly see,

How much you hurt me, you'll never understand,
You are simply not the kind of man who ever can.
Now all physical evidence is scratched and tossed,
but the scars on my fragile heart will never be lost.
~Lyne's Creations                   

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A Sense of Self

Do you know what it is like to grow up with no sense of self?
It's like I was just a simple wooden doll perched on the shelf,
My mother only wanted me to be her girlfriend,
My father, well he was afraid of children.

When you have no sense of identity you try to find it in others,
Looking to my father, mother and even my younger brother,
I did not know who or what I was or how to relate,
While my own Mother  tried to mold me into her shape.

Finally I have managed to do a lot on my own,
My gosh, how much I have learned and grown!
I had to let go of my addiction to caretakers all,
And go it alone, while doing my best to stand tall

I can still fall down and make mistakes,
but by gosh I get up, I have what it takes,
To grow through all that I have been through
And learn to love myself just as I am, too.
~Lyne's Creations                             

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Grumbling
(everyone has to sometimes)

This being "grow up" in life is really hard for me,
Especially since I was trained to fear being happy,
Sometimes I just want to curl into a little ball,
And I wish someone else would take care of it all.

It all sounds crazy I know, but there you go,
My Mom did a number on my poor little soul.
So now I have to work extra hard at everything,
Just to manage each day, all the crap my health brings.
~Lyne's Creations                                                   

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Growing Up

Growing up so chastised,
Expecting to be criticized,
Creativity unacknowledged,
Inspired ideas disregarded.

It's only very recently,
I'm starting to break free,
Expecting more for me
Allowing my creativity.

But ghosts of brainwashing,
Creep up again haunting,
Then anger flairs strong,
For being treated so wrong.

I suppose it will always be that way,
Carrying grief till the end of my days,
Because this is simply a part of me,
Sad for so much that simply could not be.
~Lyne's Creations                     

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A Doctor Report

(getting so bored with my "med check" appointments
every 6 months, I surprised my doctor and nurse with
everything in rhyme!)


It has been 6 months, so I'm here again to report,              
How I am doing with meds, I'll try to make this short,          

My lungs have taken a year and a half to come back,             
From pneumonia and asthma that put me in the sack.              
I use my nebulizer once a day and that feels right,             
It and Pulmicort each day keep my lungs from getting tight.     

With pain killers, muscle relaxants every six hours in twenty four,             
Nothing else keeps FM and IBS symptoms, restrained more.                        

They stop my insomnia, allow me to sleep all night,             
So for many days of the year, I feel almost all right!          
OH and my nasonex, it helps clear up my nose,                   
It even seems to help with more than sinus woes.                

My dry eyes and hot flashes are a terrible bother,              
If I don't daily drink 13 BIG glasses of water,                 
Still I consume enjoyable meals made of things I can still eat, 
While a powerful vitamin complex keeps my diet complete.        

So while this little masked bandit "case of one" sitting here,  
Deals with a lot, there is something I would like to make clear,        

It was way back in the fifties when I was just eight,           
My grandmother was a doctor, she thought she was great. 
She drew my blood and proclaimed I was going to die,            
Then it was anemia, her weekly shots made me cry.               

So in spite of all the therapy that I have been through,                
I can not stop the fears that flair when I come to see you.     
I will do the blood test, if you require it of me,                      
But do NOT call with results, so I'll be anxiety free.          

When my anxiousness continues, it prays on my FM,               
So now I'm asking for your help, not to cause that again.       
If and when I get a NEW symptom, I will give it a week,         
If it doesn't go away, I'll tell you, this promise I'll keep.           

Because of my age and the level of my frailty,                  
Quality of life is more important than quantity!                        
I appreciate your help keeping my syndromes in hand.            
I know I'm lucky to have a doctor who understands!              

Because with your aid I am not just simply existing,            
I really feel quite well, in fact I can enjoy living!                   
I'm deeply spiritual as well as full of creativity,                     
So I'm proud of my accomplishments, despite my frailty!         
~Lyne's Creations                                                

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Handling Fear

It's really hard not to give in to the fear,
Now with a Dr. appointment so near,
But time keeps moving always forward,
Soon it'll be to other goals you look toward.

So stay the course, take your child by the hand,
and sooner than you think on the other side you'll land.
It will be hard concentrating but your Higher Self is there,
Always to guide, keep you safe, and of your burdens share.

Look! Now it's done! You can be worry free!
Told you didn't even need a blood test, see?
Given your flu shot before it went into inventory!
Your doctor does care so much, despite all your worry!

Still I go through this every 6 months on the dot,
This is just the way I work, I've accepted my lot,
I will just do my very best and deal with my life's crap,
Relying on my Higher Self, who always has my back!
~Lyne's Creations                    

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Changing The Day

My day started out bad,
But I worked with what I had,
Then I felt better, and got some things done,
So that I felt peaceful and that I'd won!
~Lyne's Creations                            

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No One There But My Soul

There's no one there to quiet my fears,
No one there to wipe away my tears,
No one to say "It'll be alright, my dear,
There's no one to help me find my way clear.

It's all up to me, to find strength within,
So I look to my soul for the fix I'm in,
Asking for help, strength and protecting,
For it's only my soul I can look to and cling.

And say to myself: It will be alright, sweet thing,
Your stronger than you know, just be more trusting.
For I am your soul, you are from and of me,
And surrounded by love we will care for thee.
~Lyne's Creations                                         

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A Loud Storm

Thunder woke me in the night, did it you?
Poor Nickie cowered in sheer fright too!
I saw a great rainbow beyond my window pane,
In between long periods of hard driving rain!

What a furious beautiful storm we had,
But when I could get back to sleep I was glad!
~Lyne's Creations                             

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Stupidity and the Storm

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon,
Until thunder reverberated through my room,
I looked outside and saw a flash of light,
And the heavy bloom of clouds, what a sight!

Gazing up at this boiling sky,
I saw a tiny plane flying high,
What kind of stupid was that guy ,
To risk such danger looming nigh?!

I'll never know what his fate,
But I'm just here to firmly state:
That it seemed so stupid and not the norm,
For the pilot to fly a tiny plane in that huge storm!
~Lyne's Creations                                                

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Men

I've come to feel men will never understand women,
I truly believe that they simply do not have it in them,
If you're lucky they may give you roses and lollipops,
If not blessed by a rare one, you'll be abruptly dropped.
~Lyne's Creations                        

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Nightmares

Over and over no matter what I do,
I can't stop these nightmares that I go through,
Running and running and never feeling safe,
Trying to get away from that man and that place,

Night after night, in every awful dream,
I'm unable to face whatever they mean,
My health tortures me at every daylight,
Then dreams terrorize me every night.
I'm so tired.....
~Lyne's Creations                             

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Numerology

My life is mapped out for me,
With Numerology,
I enjoy years one, two and three,
But when I get to four,
I'd rather close the door!

It is the very hardest of them all,
I am much more likely to fall,
It takes every bit of my energy,
Coping with my trials so heavy,

Till Five brings change so freeing,
I can revel (carefully!) in being....
Until Six brings up all matters of family,
Then I long for Seven's quiet spirituality!

The best is Eight; it's energetically fine,
But I'm cautious preparing for losses in Nine.

Then it all starts once more,
With one through that nasty Four,
That hated year, that brings tears,
When once again, I fight my fears.

But if I pay attention to the map,
And to my faults I hearken back,
I can climb my mountains of life,
To get beyond all my inner strife...

And grow into the better person I'd like to be!

How do you figure out your own life map key?
(and I caution you, it takes a lot of book study!)
Add the current year to your birth month and day,
Keep adding until you've only one number to say,

Then read several books on Numerology,
That explain what the "year vibrations" could be.
Combined with intuition, find out for yourself,
Of your possibilities of wealth and health.

Just remember, it's only a guide that's general,
Because each of us are unique and original!
You are the ultimate master of your own boat,
It's up to you to choose your course and stay afloat! 
~Lyne's Creations                                              
 
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The Anxieties of Anticipation

(waiting particular 3d products at an on line store)

I'm being very quiet, do you know what I do?                    
I check the store every morning, do you do that too?            
I check my mail from my friend to see if she's yet heard.       
Waiting with baited breath, trying hard not to disturb.         

I'm quite busy with my life, and getting to know Dawn,          
Still there is that horse add-on pack, for which I do long.             
But I must keep calm, wait and give the team their best chance, 
To finish testing, not offer too far in advance.                        

Only how do I live with such intense anticipation?              
Each morning hoping for their great glorious presentation!      
What am I waiting for with such anxious determination?          
Why, it's Laurie's additional sets for my Harry collection!     
~Lyne's Creations                                                      

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I don't shop for 3d products much any more,
Except when I arrive at HiveWire's front door!
Then I get overly excited, blush and confess,
I'm thrilled with such high quality treasures to possess!
~Lyne's Creations                                 

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A Fall Afternoon
(art coming soon)

Sitting in the quite of a Fall afternoon,
Thinking of winter that will be here soon,
While cooler days feel so good,
It might be time to collect more firewood.

Still, I love just sitting here so quietly,
Enjoying all the little birds around me,
While taking warm sips of my tea,
Enjoying one pleasure that is free!
~Lyne's Creations                        

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It's My Nature

It's my nature to keep at something until I get it right,
Even when it seems impossible, I keep my goal in sight,
I may give up, sit down, run away and nearly give in,
But then it really is my nature to get up and start again.

It's better to head into problems, and take a firm stand,
Rather than letting my anxieties get out so of hand,
I always fight hard to accomplish each thing I must do,
No matter how many obstacles I do have to go through.

Because winning after such battles feels so darn great,
And makes me feel much more in control of my own fate!
~Lyne Creations                                      

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Childhood Grief

~Note: this recent experience~

(I'm coming to truly understand how traumas
at a very young age become an intrinsic part of us!)

I carry long standing grief,
With bitter pain underneath,
For the feelings I had to hide,
That my parents couldn't abide.

As a child I crawled deep inside,
Always fearful, always denied,
By parents who had no feeling,
Thus I grew to hate just being.

Then one day the sun shone,
I was no longer alone,
All my feelings were freed,
I was allowed to feel need.

Love lasted a mere two years,
Then came a lifetime's tears,
Shed for all accumulated loss.
Now I desire to simply squash,

All my lonely feelings, lest I drown,
And darkness returns to takes me down,
Back into a childhood so very bleak,
Where I had no one, no voice to speak,

Of this, my lasting childhood grief.

Then it starts all over again,
Anger boils for hurt back then,
Plus all the hurts piled up on top,
Until I screamed for life to stop!

So I struggle every single day,
Against my depression holding sway,
Trying to put on a more cheerful face,
Living in this life's isolated place.
~Lyne's Creations              

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Fighting Depression

I find it hard not to be lonely,
But music helps, like Owl City's,
With it's funny bouncy melodies,
Electronically bright and quirky.

Art work helps, I try to stay busy,
But I still keep wishing secretly,
For someone to love me, especially,
While trying to accept this will never be.

So I'm fighting my depression constantly,
Yet as an extrovert, craving company,
And isolated because I am not healthy,
Leads right back to sadness so frustratingly.

An endless circle round and round,
Ever fighting so I don't drown,
Making an efforts to be happy,
While all the while feeling crappy,

So I do put music on, let it play,
Staying busy each and every day,
Distract myself from life's realities,
Leaning heavily on spiritualities.

Music, art, writing, looking for laughter,
These are the only things that matter!
Talking to my inner child with kindness,
Pulling with my Pollyanna's defiance!
~Lyne's Creations              


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Go to the Top of Poetry Page I for an index of all the Poetry pages! OR!-Just change the number
in the url address to the next higher one, and hit enter to go to that page faster!

I have so many pages, it's getting crazy for my dyslexic mind to keep adding
individual links to each page thereafter.