Creations Poetry 29
Copyright Lyne's Creations July 2014, All Rights Reserved
You may NOT take copies of these poems for any reason.
Note: I often come back, re-read and even
edit my poems. They, like me,
are a work in progress. I may change a word here and there or I may add
a whole stanza! Some have art, and some will get illustrated later on.
I curled up on my Daddy's lap and cried,
From the deep abiding pain still inside,
My heart still breaking for the one who's not there,
The one who convinced me that he really cared.
Waking from a dream in which he was still there,
The one who convinced me he would always care,
In such a short time I had relived it again,
That only real love in my life from way back then.
Reliving the love that he bestowed on me,
Convincing me that I was more than worthy,
Then leaving me wandering through empty rooms,
Ever searching, so sure he would come back soon.
Holding his white robe close, breathing in so deep,
Grieving for the love I could no longer keep.
Unable to believe that he was really gone,
Reliving the pain that is lasting much too long,
Then morning dawns, stealing away my wistful dream,
Leaving only the pain, feeling my silent scream.
From the reality too, that Daddy was never there,
To comfort me from the cruelty of one so unfair.
There is no comfort for pain that is still so deep,
When it wells up once again in dreams as I sleep.
(from the profound to the ridiculous,
Yes that's me...poems sprout from every part of me!)
A Tiny Little Life
I snuffed out the life of a tiny little spider,
Just to keep him off of my toothbrush or out of my water,
I feel honestly bad, and very sad,
for taking the only life that that little guy had.
What is it with me, now in my older age,
It's not like I'm talking to some sort of sage,
I'm just feeling bad for that little spider,
Who was not trying to be any bother!
(a poem for upcoming artwork)
Magic Among the Flowers
Sitting among the beautiful flowers,
Calling unusual birds by the hours,
Feathers glow brightly as she feeds,
Bestowing health with magic seeds.
Aware of how many become rare,
She's working to give them extra care,
So dry your tears, ease your fears,
Help her keep these birds for years.
Delicate Threads of Awareness
( I've only learned NOT to "judge myself" in the last few months...
and the more I accept myself BECAUSE I don't judge myself, the more
I DO ACCEPT ALL OF MYSELF, AS I AM...
all my fault, foibles, and good points too, of course! )
Awareness + Acceptance = Achievements
The critical dark voices of the past,
No longer hold me tight within their grasp,
I finally perceive those delicate threads,
Of my new found self confidence instead.
How do I describe these thin fragile strands,
As I c
Wondrous threads developing in my consciousness.
I marvel at my increasing awareness!
Looking to myself for my soul's abundance,
No longer repeating my Mother's judgments,
I think I must be maturing at long last,
Not being trapped in the mind sets of my past.
I still have some moments of utter fear,
But I'm the one who says "it's OK dear"!
I nurture, love, and bestow respect from within,
And I have special times when I actually grin!
"I did it all by myself!" I can exclaim,
It's all happening right inside my own brain!
The child inside becomes an adult feeling great pride,
As I negotiate this river of life's great ride!
I Wish - part 1
We had such a compatible virtual life,
I was blissful as his "cyber space" wife,
Completing each other, with a deep spirituality,
Ours was an unexpectedly unique reality.
Then wanting all or nothing, he let me go,
Hurting me more than any other living soul.
Now I am somehow more alone than I ever was before,
So in spite of the good, I wish I'd never gone through that door.
I Wish - part 2
I wish I had met someone more real,
Someone who hadn't seemed so ideal,
Causing me to wish that I could no longer feel....
Depths of emotions I'm now trying to conceal.
Since most of my life has been an ordeal,
And now it just feels like he set out to steal,
A precious part of my heart that may never heal,
In this life of mine that now seems very surreal.
Inspired by listening to the music group: Passenger...
The lyrics and the music somehow draw my poetry/feelings
muse out...and I have to write....Note: poem is not an even
structured poem on purpose... as it just "flowed".
I know his heart, it's still a part,
His feelings were mine from the start,
I hear Passenger songs, they sing his story,
And I remember when his story was a part of me,
He helped me to be positive, he offered a hand,
He helped me to be strong, he helped me to stand,
He was so cheerful he brought me the lights,
He made it less lonely through the long nights.
He said it's not codependent, he said it's just love,
When I clung to his strength as an angel from above,
He woke in me, a love I had never seen,
He took me to places I had never been.
Do I miss him still when my music plays?
Yes, I guess it'll be that way till my end of days...
I'm so worth loving, why do they all let me go?
I'm always willing to give my all, didn't they know?
So do they miss me now that I am gone?
Did they even ever hear my song?
I feel sad that it's my love they lost,
I cry for them, it was so dear ~ that cost.
Sad songs caress my heart as I remember all the parts
tucked in those small pockets inside my heart...
It's only now that I love life and I wish to see,
Some more little bits of the love in me,
I do remember the joy of that boy,
Before he left me as a cast off toy.
I was so willing to give my all,
Why oh why did our love fall?
I'm so wiling to give my all,
Will anyone ever again for me: stand tall?
Life so inspires me to write it out in poetry,
Because there is still so much love in me.
Other people sing the songs
My heart jumps up and rides along
Because I hear the very life in them,
and it makes me remember when I too felt the same,
In this ever lasting living that is just today's game.....
My body may be old and full of pain,
But I still wait for love to come again,
Because I feel so much of life deep within,
But I'm not sure in which life it will come again..
I'm more alive now than I was ever before,
And I guess it's because I finally opened that door....
But for now my future is just an unknown,
So I can only be happy just to live inside my home.
During a really trying time in life...when my only credit card
information was stolen, preventing me from getting my groceries
delivered to my home, THEN when I did get the new card, I got
two phone calls... the first to say "They can't get any Tofu at all
into the store, do I want the order anyway *yes* and the second
Your card did not work, do you have the right number so I can
check you out *and yes it was from the man handling my order
that I know personally....And then I called my one and only friend
who lives a long ways away to ask if he could find me some Tofu
to hold me over... So both my ability to pay and my ability to EAT
were threatened over 1-2 week period that is SO stressful...
I will not even know if he can get any Tofu tonight when he can try
the Japanese food stores..... So my life, right now, is in fact just TOO
stressful, it's like my last nerve went and I HAD to find a way to be calm....
My Higher Self is taking special care of me,
In such special detail it is stunning to see
So though I feel so alone when facing it all,
My Higher Self won't allow me to crumble and fall.
People around me are all coming to my aid,
Catching and correcting problems as they are made,
So I just need to relax and trust my soul,
And that in itself will bring me to my goal.
While living my life in calm peace with no fear,
Of all the mundane speed bumps that happen here,
I can rest and relax, know there's no going back,
With my Higher Self providing what all I lack.
Thank You my dear Soul for helping me to succeed,
Growing my trust by providing everything I need.
As I allow that Higher Love to wash over me,
I'm relaxed, at peace as I've always wanted to be.
and as a little "post script" to that horrible time:
I'm doing a happy dance today,
Running around and just shouting YAY!
Such relief to have my food secured,
After the bad luck that just occurred,
Things turned around and I feel utterly free!
I can get back to my all my creativity!
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