pagepalletmouse3.jpg (3000 bytes)~Lyne's Creations Poetry 27
Copyright Lyne's Creations February/March 2014,  All Rights Reserved
You may NOT take copies of these poems for any reason.

Note: I often come back, re-read and even edit my poems. They, like me,
are a work in progress. I may change a word here and there or I may add
a whole stanza!  Some have art, and some will get illustrated later on.


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A Hard Week

(The Week of May 12th, 2014 in San Diego County)

     I tripped on a cord, hurt my toe, caused me to limp,            
        Which twisted my bad back, making me a real gimp,               
My sweet Nickie cat stopped drinking and got very sick, 
   With an odd infection that has been tough to lick.              

Meanwhile another Santa Anna heat wave rose up,        
Causing arsonists to set many fires and run amuck,        
         I can only hope that this insanity will not last,               
         It was a terrifying week that is finally past,                   

     Finally I heard a mourning dove call to it's mate,              
    As the scorching heat and high winds began to abate,    
    I pray that they catch that nasty evil  ***hole,                
Who destroyed so many lives and took such a toll.       

         Though the fires raged, many lives were saved,         
            By fire-fighting troupes, so very brave,                        
        But I weep for those who lost their homes,              
           Their lives tuned into sad dark unknowns.                  

                  Life can be hard, but hope still resides,                     
             Expressed by the dove's sweetly soft cries,           
             
Encouraging those to pick up their lives,               
              And cast eyes upward to soft cool clear skies.         
        ~Lyne's Creations                                                
                  
***************************
 

(I'm nothing, if not prolific!? These are bits of
my heart, my head and hilarity...most complete,
some are unfinished... yet!)

****************

         My Struggle With Anger                    

I loved completely because my heart could,              
Trusting for the first time, I thought I would,         
I felt he was love foretold to me so I should,       
Then he found it was himself he misunderstood.  

He had loved me tenderly until he didn't,               
He swore loyalty daily until he couldn't,                       
He tried to find a way until he wouldn't,                       
Made promises he most certainly shouldn't.              

This one time I trusted ended unfortunately,                    
Now my angry mistrust grows disproportionately,         
I have been hurt by many men good at what they do,              
Still I long for the open hearted me to show through.           

My anger feels toxic, so I will brave looking deep,             
Under anger to the hurt I apparently keep,                      
Feel all the feelings more scary than my hot anger,             
Face them, release them, move on to my next chapter.            

It's a difficult challenge with such abuse in my history,               
But I continue to work toward being free; being me!             
Forgive me. my dear friends, I hope you stand by me patiently,  
I'm sure I'll get there as long as I keep working diligently!   
~Lyne's Creations                                                  

*********************

My Friend gave me her equine horse art calendar...

Beautiful Horses               

Beautiful horses trot out of my calendar,               
Into my dreams where they run or they wander,           
Such loveliness fills and gently sooths my mind,                
I'm grateful for this gift from a friend of mine!               
~Lyne's Creations                                    

********************

From Childhood Terrors to Growth

At seven I suffered in silent terror, unable to cry
Because the doctor said I was sick and would die,
A school film showed how every life was at stake,
My hopeless terror grew to more than I could take.

The horror that a mistaken blood test did create,
With no one ever explaining to me their mistake,
Left me lost and caused me to completely separate,
Unable to trust anymore, alone in control of my fate.

This small frightened child who was just turning eight,
Was already trying to escape and find heaven's gate.
My Mother and Doctor-Grandma failed me completely,
Leaving me awfully scarred so utterly deeply.

Intellectually I know what happened to me,
I've been unable to deal with that old injury,
So those early traumas and anxieties,
Just keep coming up in my life repeatedly.

I know I have to discover and heal,
The scars of this wound that I still feel,
I need to provide for myself that which I never got;
The loving parenting I desperately sought.

How do I learn to be my own parent,
When no mother, no aunt or grandparent,
Was ever there to illustrate to me,
Just how kind parenting would be?

Higher Self, please help me to clearly hear you,
Remind me of past times of your guidance too,
When during hard times, you have helped me through,
Because in working through hardships, I'm renewed.

Higher Self; gently take me by the hand,
Supporting me with love, help me to stand,
On my own two feet, trusting myself,
Drawing on our immense inner wealth.
Amen.
~Lyne's Creations

********************

Facing Myself

I feel like retreating and I don't want to see,         
The facts of the faulty duct work for my AC!            
With all the holes left in the bad duct work up there,  
Using it means breathing dirty nasty attic air!         

A new company's coming to fix it for me,                
But with all my fears I'm filled with anxiety.          
Yet being able to breath "hospital grade air",          
Means my home will protect me with greater care!        

So Higher Self, please keep sending healthy workmen,    
And I will be brave facing my fears once again,         
Because "practice makes perfect" as I live this life,
It's the reason for this life's continuous strife.               

It is my truth that I've chosen this lifetime to change,        
By pushing myself hard so that I can rearrange, 
My whole being to become who I truly want to be;        
A fearless person with a strong sense of identity!      

Born into this existence with NO sense of self,                 
And desperate to retrieve strengths off my "back shelf",        
I crafted this life's situation precisely,                              
Balanced loving support with challenges carefully.              

The Dictionary says in part-
Challenge:  A test of one's abilities or resources
in a demanding but stimulating undertaking

Ultimately I must take responsibility,  
For all my own good, bad and ugly,
I "landed here" with a specific goal in mind,
To build up my courage, leaving my fears behind.

And I already see I AM accomplishing it this time!

Anything in life that makes me stop and ask why,
Provides more answers than all the angels in the sky,
So for my growth, I gather courage and take a gamble,
Because with risk there are rewards for which I am thankful.
~Lyne's Creations

******************

My House

When my whole AC system had to be revamped,
From the bad duct work with holes all miss-matched,
It's been so stressful to have my attic attacked,
Workmen crawling around, going out, coming back,

When I take care of my house, it takes care of me,
It is almost as though it's part of my personality,
So when major work has to be done inside and out,
And it is stressing me so bad that I want to shout,
But!
As long as I remember to take care of all that I own,
This place I live is more than a house, it's my home!
~Lyne's Creations                                                

********************

Love Left Me Behind

He called me dear, he made it clear,
He reassured my every fear,
I felt he was really in love with me,
My life was filled with possibilities.

I was truly loved for such a brief time,
And now love leaves me so far behind,
But because it was the truest love for me,
Sad songs reverberate much more deeply.

Yes, because I felt more love than ever before,
Raw emotions resonate in my heart more,
I dearly miss being loved as I truly deserve,
I miss being gently cared for and so clearly heard.

Sometimes hurt wells up and again I am sad,
Over a love so good that became so bad,
Was it better to know these emotions so deep,
Or should I have remained safe and blindly asleep?

It's too late - my heart now knows the truest love,
Now I feel more fragile than the softest dove,
He gave me indescribable joy, then took it away,        
And I realize I'm just pretending that I'm okay.                

Last night hearing a song, I broke down and cried,      
My heart shattered again for the joy that had died,     
The pain never goes, It just hides until time slows,    
Then the honest reality of my feelings again show.      

I pretend I'm fine until darkness steals the day,
The truth is my life is a lot more lonely this way.
My poem just can not effectively portray,
The depth of my feelings I'm trying to convey.

So yes, I will be fine, until songs once again remind,
Of a special kind of love that has gone, left me behind...
~Lyne's Creations                                      

*******************

A small rant:

I Hate Junk Mail!

I hate all the junk mail that comes in,
It goes straight into my recycle bin!
All those wasted trees are just a sin,
Just to tout inflated prices like a bargain!
~Lyne's Creations


*****************

Reworking a Nightmare          

"It's all my fault!", I hollered in my dream,   
Feeling this terror, I woke with a scream.      
I had a horrific nightmare last night,          
I woke abruptly with it still in sight,         

It's NOT my fault, I didn't deserve it,         
All the lost love, all that abandonment,                
Realizing my Mother heaped on the guilt,        
I suppressed my pain, tears were never spilt.   

As I face down all my core issues,              
Now I can express, grab the tissues,            
Declare all the grief and anger too,            
A "good daughter" wasn't allowed to do.         

Trying to make nightmares an opportunity,       
To better understand my heart inside of me,     
Is just one part of my healing journey,         
In healing my soul, and setting us free!
~Lyne's Creations                        

**********************

Shades of Grey                          

(art coming soon)

We mustn't limit our perceptions by thinking all one way,                       
Life is not just black and white; for people are all shades of grey.    
I hope you will understand what I am trying to convey,                  
With open hearts we can allow for the many shades of grey.              
~Lyne's Creations                                             

**********************

(In writing poems for my Second Life Profile)

Wanted: Friends Only            

I had an intense romance and it fell apart,     
I'll never again let anyone break my heart,     
Now I don't want lovers, I only want friends,           
Someone like me, upon whom I can depend.        
~Lyne's Creations                                          

**

So you think you might like to get to know me?
I love music and dancing in this life of fantasy,
I'm a real girl who can be wild, joyful and free,
But cautious at first, with heartache in my history,

Thus voice is important as well as real honesty,
Plus sharing our real selves creates an intimacy,
Elements quite rare in this on-line community,
~Lyne                                        

****************

What Am I?           

I used to think that my soul was deficient,
When I just felt there was no help from within it,
As the same problems just kept on coming along,
And I couldn't understand why my soul was not strong.

After spending years of my life in a desperate panic,
I'm finally beginning to understand the dynamic,
That I function as a physical being, I have a  specific role,
To carry out my lessons and growing of my own soul.

It's like my soul is the main entity of me,
While my present body and personality,
Is like a single arm of a whole body,
That embodies my soul's main focus currently.

Thus when my difficult challenges keep happening,
I can rest assured I DO have the help that I'm craving,
Because my soul is not lacking, but simply asking,
"Us" to enhance abilities in areas we're lacking!

So I have to admit and to remember clearly the times,
When I suddenly have perfect solutions of all kinds,
That my "Higher Self"; the very soul that is me,
Is working in tandem for our success perfectly!
~Lyne's Creations                                       

*****************************

In Dreams                 
 
(probably not done, I started this, listening
to music...so maybe one day it will say more..)                

The places I can go,            
The people I become,            
The battles I've lost,          
The wars I have won,            

This is the fabric of my dreams,        
When waking reality recedes,            
Replaced by dreaming scenes,            
Creating my heart's needs.              
~Lyne's Creations                                

******************

an often repeated part of me comes out again...

"While"         

(since I used that word so much, thought I'd give it a reason!) LOL!

I gave my heart, I gave my all,         
I never thought he'd let me fall,               
I thought he felt the same as me,       
That our love was just meant to be.     

But to my shock, his love was not,      
While he gave up, I really fought,      
For a love that I thought epic,         
While he became apathetic.              

How could a man who promised much,      
Be so completely out of touch?          
So while my heart is still broken,      
I mourn for words now unspoken. 

I find I feel much more deeply,         
As expressed through my poetry, 
As I am learning more about me, 
Becoming who I was meant to be. 
~Lyne's Creations                        

********************

(obviously not done, but trying to preserve
the poems I have started here, with an up-
coming change in my computer).

My Family Life              

My Mother controlled my Father, they never fought,      
Dad hid behind the paper, Mom glared over the top,      
When she fixed me with her steely silent stare,         
I'd freeze like a deer caught in the headlight's glare. 
~Lyne's Creations

******************

Of Anger, Of Pain                  

I'm grieving for all the things that never were,                
Plus all the harmful horrors that did occur,            
As a child I was very lost and alone,                   
I never did feel safe within my own home.               

Sometimes I wish that I just could not think,           
Because of this sadness that runs so deep.              
But still feelings come up within my dreams.            
I grieve for what life never seems to bring.            

My heart is still broken, can't anybody tell?           
I suppose it's my secret, one I keep well,              
Deep down inside, there is still anger and pain,                
When will it go, when will I become whole again?        

                    I keep it locked inside, buttoned up real tight,                                
Because if I dare shine upon it; a light,                       
They just say, get over it, it's about time,            
But what right do they have to judge what is mine!      
~Lyne's Creations                                               

****************

The Power of Love
(unfinished)

Love is a great power yet gentle as a dove,
No wonder we're always looking for true love,
Always wishing there was just one someone there,
It is such a special comfort in knowing they care.

That one person who is attentive to your every need,
Even respects your opinions, even if they disagreed.
~Lyne's Creations                                                  

******************

Kitties and Pees..

Why does Nickie accompany me,
Every time I go to the bathroom to pee?
He even puts his front paws up on my knee,
And mews to be petted very insistently!

He's at once annoying but makes me laugh,
It's a good thing he does not join me in my bath!
This little furry friend who's so attached to me,
He joins me in the bathroom, every time I pee!
~Lyne's Creations                                     

**********************

The Wonderful Storm

Huge thunderheads loom in a partially blue sky,
While rain is pouring down from clouds rushing by,
There's fast changing weather from winds way up high,
Thus Mother Nature does nourish and beautify.

I love watching the storm clouds swirling around,
The dark and the light, these contrasts abound,
I sigh at the sight of a swath of brilliant blue,
Framed by glowing clouds catching the new sunset's hue.
~Lyne's Creations                                                  

*****************

My Soul

I still myself and seek deep down,
Within my body, while all around,
I connect with my life giving energy,
This that is the very heart and soul of me.

So I close my eyes, quietly look inside,
Finding my strength that does reside,
Always there, this sweet serenity,
Insulating me from every enemy.
~Lyne's Creations                    

*******************************

Men     

(referring only to men in regards to romance & relationships,
NOT the kind professional men I hire to help me maintain my home!)       

     I'm having a great deal of trouble trusting men,                
There is only one I regard as my best friend,           
Beyond that, I hope my next life is lesbian,            
Maybe then I'll be able to trust love again.            
~Lyne's Creations                                  

*****************

My Future is Now

I have worked all my life to somehow,   
Get to my future; that which is now,    
Therefore here I am, I have arrived,    
And to my surprise, I am still alive!   

       In fact I'm quite a bit better than that,               
As I sort through my past, in looking back,     
I would never want to begin again,              
And experience the hell that was then.          

Thus I live alone... well but for my cat,               
This leaves me very free, that's a nice fact,   
To define my own rules, go through my day,      
I'm the one in charge, I'll work or I'll  play! 
~Lyne's Creations                                

***************

A Strange Mind

another unfinished one...

I have a quirky strange brain, what can I say,
When upon waking I think: Polly wolly doodle all day?
I stretch, yawn and get up to start on my way,
While my crazy dream thoughts start fading away.

As I begin my daily chores, I try to figure out why,
I guess it's my creativity, so I accept it and sigh.
~Lyne's Creations                                    

******************

Balancing Relationships

All my life I have been crushed and shut down,          
I've worked hard for the self confidence I've found,    
After years of introspection and trying to grow,                
I decided it was love that I would like to know.                

I have grown again through shattering heartbreak,       
So now I'm more willing to fight for my sake,           
I will stand up to those who judge and shame me,        
'Cause I know my feelings have every right to be.       

I may not always do the acceptable thing,               
But it's heart and great effort that I always bring,    
To the delicate balance every friendship consists of,   
So that neither of us feel anything but honest love.    
~Lyne's Creations
-----------------------
Life is filled with frustrations and anxieties,
We're lucky if we've even a moment of hilarity,
To break the tension of constantly working,
To take care of all the daily menial things.

So just try to find the bright spot in each day,
So tomorrow you can dive back into the fray.
~Lyne's Creations                                

*******************

A Best Friend             
              
(she knows who she is)

             You know you are honestly my best friend,                       
Since, oh, I can't seem to remember when,       
So with this little awkward poem,               
I hope to bring the message home,               
I've treasured you from the very start!                 
You are an immense part of my heart!         
~Lyne's Creations                                  

******************

(a poem I wrote for a card I sent)

Thinking of You

At our age each day blends into the next,
Where time goes to is anybody's guess,  
So I am just sending this card to say,          
That I am thinking of you every day!
~Lyne's Creations                          

*****************

Bittersweet Memories

A bittersweet memory, fading and thin,
Of the happiest time I had ever been,
Faint flickers of joy flair up now and then,
Quickly crushed to prevent heartache again.
~Lyne's Creations                            

**********************

To Feel or Not To Feel                      

I never knew what it felt like to feel alive,                   
To have such rich feelings was a complete surprise,             
          That both pleasure and sorrow could make living "more",                 
More vibrant and real than it had ever been before...           

Love showed me how it felt to be really alive,          
How my life could be more than just how to survive,     
Yet loosing love was nearly more than I could take,     
It seems with all feelings my sanity's at stake.                

I guess I'm suppressing feelings for fear of the pain,          
So it seems I have gone backwards, lost all I had gained.       
I have shuttered my fragile heart, gone back to before,         
While in my dreams I still reach out for that love once more.   
~Lyne's Creations                                                         

*******************
 

A Girl and Her Horse        

There was only one who made her smile,  
One who was there for her, all the while,       
Always with a warm sweet soft kiss,             
That gave her comfort, was her bliss.           

Never rejecting and always accepting,           
Peaceful, gentle, consistently a blessing,      
This love of her life, I am speaking of course,
Is the unconditional love of her horse!         
~Lyne's Creations                                
 

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Go to the Top of Poetry Page I for an index of all the Poetry pages! OR!-Just change the number
in the url address to the next higher one, and hit enter to go to that page faster!

I have so many pages, it's getting crazy for my dyslexic mind to keep adding
individual links to each page thereafter. 
 

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